Frequently Asked Questions:
1) Who is "Karl from New Hampshire"?
I am, for all intents and purposes, the Frankenstein-like creation of Jim Braude and Margery Eagan. Although I have done some stand-up comedy over the last ten years, it all changed with a twist of fate one lonely day about five years ago. Intrigued with a discussion of the just-released Segway Human Transporter being discussed on the world's shortest radio show, Eagan & Braude, I called in to remind an apparently oblivious audience of the amazing technology the Segway represented. This innocuous event would be the beginning of a long and tortured relationship between me, Karl from New Hampshire, and the lovable, aloof pair known as Jim and Margery.
2) What's with the poodle?
About three or four years ago, Bill O'Reilly began touting the need for a boycott of all things French as retribution for their lack of support towards the States. Jim and Margery, known to ride on Bill's coattails, began suggesting to their listeners, an emotionally vulnerable group, that they bring their French pets to a drop-off box located outside the studio. In what would become a shameless litany of self-promoting acts, I seized the opportunity and offered my kit, Poodle-B-Gone, for just $29.95. The kit included three helium balloons and a string, along with a leather flying helmet. An alert listener with a Nikon happened to snap a picture of one of the unlucky pets shortly after launch. Sad as it may be, it appears to have been a good day for flying. This unfortunate episode began what appears to be a never-ending string of mostly useless products for $29.95. "Bride-Finder" inspired by the run-away bride. "Up-Skirter Alerter" , a small security camera aimed at keeping your wife's private areas private. My financial success with these items is a matter of public record and I take no shame in the excessive wealth I have amassed through my manipulation and deceit.
3) As one of few civilians who has met Margery, is she hot?
Yes, and you can reference the 96.9 All Star Evening photos if you don't believe me.
4) Is Jim Braude "hot'?
Yes, but in a "Cape Fear" type of way. He is also verbose, stuffy, not inclined to mingle with those beneath him,. which, at 6' 7" , is almost everyone.
5) Do you perform anywhere?
Performance is such an uncomfortable word, but, yes from time to time and I will do stand-up for private functions. I don't work "blue". That is to say, my stand-up routine does not include profanity. Some subjects push the limit but it is generally observational stuff. My private life, conversely, is almost completely profane.
6) Who convinced you that you ought to have a website?
Nobody has convinced me yet, but thanks for asking.
7) "Live Free or Die"...humorless motto or facetiae?
The only thing facetious is the tone of that question. Nonetheless...the correct answer is a.) humorless motto.
The saying itself is steeped in New Hampshire history, you know, Daniel Webster or one of those guys. It implies a rugged, individualist culture....serious...sensible...no income tax. "What was that last one again?" "Hello, U-Haul?"
8) Really!? No income tax??
That's right! What part of "Live Free" don't you get, you flatlander hump? By the way, your property tax bill will have the same effect as mainlining a gram of meth. Oh, and electricity....you'll be looking for a way to make toast by rubbing a balloon on your head. But we're Free! We must be, because we're not dead...and the license plate says Live Free or Die, right?
9) Is it true you secured a Saturday Guest-Host spot simply by bribing Jim Braude with party platters?
I'm glad you asked. This is exactly how ugly rumors begin... to suggest that Jim's integrity could be "bought" with cold-cuts. The truth is, it took several deli-platters prepared and delivered by one of the North End's finest establishments. It also took shameless pandering, feigning a friendship with Bill O'Reilly and many nights sleeping in the studio parking lot to get Jim to relent and let me guest host one, tiny little show. Even then, it was not until the day I called in and wept on-air after learning that Linda from Sudbury had been invited to the studio simply because she had a frozen Fisher Cat. I pleaded with Jim, explaining how I had frozen my son's hamster in one last attempt to get invited to the studio. When they finally invited me, Jim yelled and cursed at Margery and I a lot during the breaks, but it was still fun.