THE FURY OF FATE
It is always difficult, amidst the chaos of daily life, to step back once in a while and marvel at how fortunate most of us are. Even with the global economy collapsing around us and a laundry list of other worries to keep us knee-deep in mental muck, there is always someone, probably not far away, who could put things into proper perspective for you. Not far from me, in Brentwood, New Hampshire, Ken and Danielle Lambert know better than most, the fury that fate can bestow on you from out of the clear blue.
Most of us in this area will remember the story last January of Marci Thibault. Marci was the sister of Danielle Lambert and was with Danielle's children, Shane, 4, and Kaleigh, 5, when she walked them into traffic, stripped of their clothing, on busy Route 495 in Lowell, Massachusetts. The three were killed instantly and the story hovered for days in the local press by virtue of sheer horror and lack of immediate explanation. Pictures of the Lamberts with their two children flooded the papers. A beautiful family, life was good, and then suddenly, ripped apart as though someone had thrown a grenade right into the middle of your life. It is beyond my imagination how one carries forward in the wake of something like this, how it can ever be reckoned with, accepting this gray devastation as your new life. Heartbreaking? Hellish? There are no words that do it justice.
As it turned out, Marci had battled with depression, perhaps even being bi-polar, and had been in and out of different forms of moderate care. But it didn't show, really. She was functional, appeared pretty happy and normal. Most of the time, there were no outward signs, certainly nothing that would cause most of us to raise an eyebrow. The Lamberts are educated people, not the types we have sometimes seen who entrust the care of their children to dubious supervisors. The event came as a complete shock to all, and, leaves most of us wondering, what it must be like to live within an emotional landscape that can hurl you from feeling pretty good, taking off for a fun overnight with your niece and nephew whom you love beyond description, to a place so dark, distant and disconnected that you shed your clothing, and that of the children, and saunter into an incredibly violent death for all. From a strictly observational viewpoint, it is staggering. This descent into an unspeakable abyss. To others, it sends a shiver, sounds familiar, or seems plausible, or hints of a place you feared you would find yourself. One thing for sure, it underscores the depth of this kind of mental illness.
In yet another show of their inner strength, and in an effort, I'm sure, to attach some meaning to their loss, the Lamberts began Keep Sound Minds. This is a volunteer group dedicated to bringing education on mental illness to more people. In just a matter of a few months, Keep Sound Minds grew from an idea to an organization that meets regularly and has over 40 volunteers from New Hampshire and Massachusetts. "It's important to do something positive in their memory, " Ken Lambert said. "It's better than doing nothing". It's a lot better than doing nothing, and deserves extra credit because it must be difficult beyond understanding, to involve oneself in an effort that, by its nature, requires you to continue to talk about and relive a chapter in your life that many would choose to deliberately not revisit.
The Lamberts hope to be able to provide pamphlets to schools and other organizations, to speak publicly about warning signs and some general information about mental illness. Marci was not, nor had been, involved with drugs. She did not walk down the street muttering to herself. The misconceptions that many of us have underscore the need for what the Lamberts are trying to do here. Kim Walsh, a neighbor of the Lamberts whose own two children knew Shane and Kaleigh well, is a volunteer with the group. Kim knows all too well how well-hidden the disease can be. She had a family member who was mentally ill and committed suicide.
Every now and then an effort comes along that deserves a little help and a second look. This would certainly be one of them. you can learn more at www.keepsoundminds.org.
Karl From New Hampshire