PRIVATE INVESTIGATION
When I think of private investigators, I immediately think of Columbo, Perry Mason and guys like that. The old-school gum-shoe types of my youth. Skulking around crime scenes with their notepad and crumpled rain coat. Chipping away at the puzzle, probably single and living in an unkempt loft apartment. I don't think of the General Accounting Office, that long arm of the law, that powerful federal entity. I always assumed that the business of that branch was watching the money, a phrase that is laughable when applied to federal spending, but nonetheless, isn't that what they do? In that capacity, given our financial circumstances, I would also deem the GAO a complete and dismal failure, but then again, we don't really expect anything except dismal failure from any government agency, so at least there's no shock value.
However, I have to give credit where credit is due, and last week, the GAO announced the results of a private investigation they had undertaken all on their own. They actually provided a usefull result. As it turns out, several months ago, the GAO decided to see how secure the Nuclear Regulatory Commision was being with its' licensing procedures. The GAO investigator applied for a license to purchase radioactive materials, using nothing more than a fake corporate name and a Post Office box as an address. In a stunning turn, within thirty days of the application, they had their license. This particular license, granted without burden of questions or suspicion, allowed the grantee to purchase certain intruments, namely, moisture density gauges, that contain two of the most deadly radioactive ingredients, and are essentially all that is needed to make a mighty potent "dirty-bomb".
While the license allowed them to purchase only five to ten of the devices, they found that they easily bought up to forty-five of them with license in hand, simply by presenting the license to different vendors. Naturally, as soon as the NRC discovered they had been had, they immediately tightened licensing procedures.
This story garnered remarkably little press, but it sent chills down my spine. It takes longer, and there is more scrutiny, to get a Moose license here in New Hampshire. And how is it that this agency, post-9/11, is so ridiculously lax with their security? I can only hope that there will now be some research into how many licenses they have granted, and to whom they were issued. It simply stumps me how stuff like this happens. Have we really come to this point, where complete ineptitude is the high-mark? I cringe just thinking of how many federal employees sit around at that agency with their thumbs up their ass, while printing licenses and sending them out to PO boxes all over the world. "What did you want? Cesium 133 ? Sure, did you bring your own container?" Stories like this send the blood rushing out of my head because it is just so aggravating that you want to scream. On one hand, here's the Homeland Security Chief, Cherkoff or whatever his name is, telling us he has a "gut feeling" that a big terrorist attack is coming. Yeah, you're not kidding, and now my stomach hurts, too. Yes, sir, I would call that a pretty good call given the fact that anyone, apparently, has had access to nuclear-bomb building materials for...well, how long is anyone's guess. Remember, this is post 9/11. What was it like prior to that? Was there a drive-up window at the NRC, perhaps. "I'd like a double-cheeseburger, large fries, and enough plutonium to melt a small city...oh, and could you Super-Size that..?" If the service is like that popular coffee chain, you're likely to get strontium 90 instead.
Thinking people are not surprised however, as the escalating trend of violence in this country is reaching critical mass. I don't hear a single presidential candidate talking about it. I hear few politicians talking about it at all. In Boston neighborhoods, it is becoming a daily event. Random shootings, children shooting children, a case of child abuse last week so abhorrent it literally made me weep. A boyfriend who chewed off the upper lip and part of an ear of his girlfriend's 3 year old daughter. DSS did what they do best, dropped the ball, and it wasn't untill her dentist reported that she was covered with bite marks that something was done. As it turns out, the abuse has been ongoing and where was the mother? On the lam with her stellar boyfriend...they had left the child behind unattended. Is it getting through to anyone how surrounded we all are by an entirely different type of human?
Missing from the story as well, is any outrage, and we all should be outraged. One cannot wonder if we are spending too much of our resources fighting phantoms or possible risks, while ignoring the very real risks we allow to flourish right here at home. I have spent more than thirty days straightening out vehicle registration or title issues, and that's with the Department of Motor Vehicles. To consider that the Nuclear Regulatory Commision has had such a cavalier attitude towards licensing security is maddening. We are all called upon to be vigilant, now you know why. Because the people we pay to be vigilant can't do it. They really don't know how. And they continue to get away with it simply because it is a government entity. Imagine a private industry displaying such abominable service and staying in business. It couldn't be done. But at the federal level, where there are no quotas, no bottom-lines, bottomless budgets and clearly no supervision, this was another Blue-Star day at the office. Even Columbo would be disappointed.
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