Home

Standup

Weekly Columns

Guest Column/Product

Photo Gallery

Frequently Asked
Questions

Forum

Comic for Hire

Contact US

 

 


 

THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL

We have all heard the old adage, supposedly a reference to hope, that there is "light at the end of the tunnel". In my life, that light has most often been a train coming from the other direction, but nonetheless, I respect the saying and the intended meaning. However, a recent article that caught my eye got me wondering if more people should consider my interpretation of that time-worn saying. A recent report detailing the dangers of working in New York City's subway system through me for a loop. The report begins with the sobering statement that since 1946, 238 workers have been killed on the job. My immediate assumption was that they had been shot, stabbed or otherwise met their demise through some sort of violent exchange. Not so fast, partner.

The report came out just as subway workers were gathering at a church in Queens to remember two workers killed recently. I certainly do not intend to make light of anyone's passing, but I was simply stunned by the statistics. The two most recent fatals occurred within five days of each other and caused a four day suspension of maintenance and construction while workers were retrained. No pun intended by re-"trained". You may be as surprised as I was, or maybe not, to learn that over the last 61 years 150 workers have died as a result of being struck by a train. About 24 died from electrical shock via the famed third-rail, about 20 workers died in falls and 11 from train crashes or collisions. The number shot during robberies? Three.

The reason I found this interesting was that it countered my initial assumption, which made me feel stupid, judgmental, or both. The notion of New York city as a violent place helped my initial leap to a conclusion. My leap was also aided by a pragmatic analysis which quickly concluded that if you work around trains, the number one rule has just got to be...don't be on the tracks when a train goes by. It just doesn't make sense. I know it's a dangerous environment, but so is an airport. You don't see ramp workers getting run over by planes every other day or sucked into jet engines, although it has happened and makes a head on with the Green Line look pretty good. Construction work is dangerous and especially on highways but again, overall, a pretty good safety record. I admit freely that I may be obsessing over this one but it just strikes me as, with all due respect, a little silly.

The four day shutdown for retraining is certainly a step in the right direction though I am not overly optimistic. For most of us, not sitting on railroad tracks during the passing of a train is knowledge that is just kind of intrinsic. I don't remember a class, or a formal declaration from my parents. You just kind of knew, right about from the age when you could tie your own sneakers, that only Smurfs get run over by trains and regain their original shape. I wish I could be a fly on the wall at one of those training sessions. Perhaps they'll use a watermelon, crushed by an anvil, to demonstrate the anticipated dispersal of your brain matter when you get clobbered by the Double E at about 85 mph. Touching the third rail? That's a tougher demonstration because you really need a smoke machine and something to make that crackling sound that is inherent to high-voltage electrocution.

Could it possibly make a difference? Something tells me, there's more than meets the eye here. I would be checking transit worker tool boxes for bongs and rolling papers because it is hard to imagine anyone sober, who works in that environment daily, not understanding the pounding finality of a "train-strike". Optimist that I am, I will hope for stellar results from the training sessions and will anticipate in advance the possibility that we can lower the death toll by flattening to 75 over the next 60 years. That would be a 50% reduction and with results like that, we could all say "there is light at the end of the tunnel".