THE MONSTER UNDER THE BED
When I was a kid, and that was a while ago, it was the monster under the bed, or the boogie-man in the closet, that was often behind those sleepless nights. You would think it was a hundred years ago using "changing dynamics of childhood" as a benchmark, but in fact, I was 13 years old in 1970. Megan Meier, sadly, was 13 in October of 2006. A much different world than mine at that age, and tragically, one that was too fraught with complexities for her little heart to endure. Megan hanged herself at home that October after being bullied and demeaned through her MySpace account and already struggling with depression, and on medication, she succumbed to that kind of childhood despair that can be hard to understand, difficult to recognize, and easy to underestimate.
What is most astounding about this case, aside from how it dramatizes the dangers of the cyberworld, is that it was not some punk kid, not a teenage rival from school, but her adult neighbor who perpetrated the hoax, even knowing the condition the child was in. I'm trying to imagine, as a parent, the utter devastation of losing a child, and especially, losing a child to suicide. Tina Meier, Megan's mother, has since separated from her husband Ron, 38, citing the strain of the circumstances surrounding their daughter's death. I can only imagine.
Lori Drew of suburban St. Louis, is accused of helping to create the MySpace account and posing as "Josh", a teenage boy. Her employee, 19 year old Ashley Grills also helped create the account, and posted a picture of a cute boy as being the fictitious Josh. Megan and Josh would chat and exchange messages, a growing fondness between them being manipulated by a sociopathic adult. Suddenly, in early October, "Josh" announced he would be moving away, and then began a stream of cutting messages to Megan, a verbal slaughtering of a 13 year old, all authored by a neighbor they knew as a family. It defies comprehension. Finally, on October 6th, 2006, "Josh" suggested to Megan that the world would be "a better place without her". She hanged herself that afternoon at home.
In the wake of the devastation and during the investigation, it was noted that Megan was indeed to young to have a MySpace account. To some degree, I suppose, her parents are guilty of something, but I am loathe to indict them because I know how difficult it can be to monitor your children's lives. Particularly with the advent of the internet, and all the new danger and exposure that comes with it, it is very difficult to know what goes on, and my kids are more computer literate than I am by far. We follow the common advice of having one computer, in a family room, where nobody can get away with anything. There is no "private" computer time. Unless you live in a closet, everyone knows that the worldwide web is full of spiders and dead insects who flew inadvertently into the sticky mess. Lest you be picking your child from a mass of sticky silk, you better pay attention to what is going on. More importantly, we should demand change, and to their credit, MySpace has strengthened its registration criteria, monitoring and chaperoning in the wake of similar events. A recent symposium of 49 governors all demanded the change.
The one thing in this story that you wouldn't see coming is the evil neighbor. Grills admitted writing the final line to Megan, hoping to get her to "leave Josh alone" so she could get rid of the "whole MySpace thing", feeling the joke had gone too far. By that time, the "joke" had reached its own end, unbeknownst to Grills and her "adult" counterpart, Drew. Missouri officials had not filed charges and then the FBI got involved. On Thursday, Lori Drew was indicted on fraud and conspiracy charges. More charges are expected. Says Salvador Hernandez, assistant agent-in-charge for the FBI, "...the internet is a world unto itself. People must know how far they can go before they must stop. They exploited a young girl's weaknesses."
They also ruined a family, deprived a child of the rest of her life, ruined their own lives as they both can expect jail time, and weighted the rest of us with yet another disturbing story of humankind at its worst. Every now and then, one of these stories kind of hangs with you, and this one will stay with me. The paper shows a picture of Megan in happier times. If only she could have held onto that smile.
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