THE
BRADY BUNCH
Wedged tightly in between Anna and
Brittany, New England Patriots superstar Tom Brady garnered a little
extra-curricular press last week when it was disclosed that his
ex-girlfriend, Bridgett Moynihan is expecting their child. Tom seemed to
take it all in stride as he continued his Paris fling with new girlfriend,
super-model Giselle Munchkin, or whatever her name is. All of this is hardly
news in and of itself. Handsome guy, wealthy, and by all accounts a pretty
well-rounded guy, he is an athletic superstar. It's that superstar status
that brings into play the old familiar question, the worn-out question
actually, of what, if any, that superstar rating bestows upon him in terms
of responsibility. He has been heralded as the All-American guy and there is
no question that lots and lots of young males look up to this guy. We've all
heard the argument time and time again as athletes fall from grace, is
there, or isn't there, an additional burden on them to serve as infallible
role models for our children?
My personal opinion on the Brady Bunch is that it certainly does not set a
good example. My two young sons have heard about it because they follow
sports. So do I feel betrayed by Tom Brady? No, I don't take it personally.
This is a parent’s opportunity to speak to their children honestly and point
out what is wrong with Tom Brady's predicament. First, that like all humans,
we make mistakes and what is most important in life is not that you don't
make mistakes, it is how your actions in the wake that matter. In this
circumstance, Tom's announcement that he and his family are "excited" about
the pregnancy seems a little odd, given the circumstances, but I suppose
that it is just a sign of the times. And this is the facet that is most
disconcerting and demands that as a parent, you explain to your children how
Tom Brady is now demonstrating why having children out of wedlock is not an
optimum situation. Sure, these two have enough resources to provide this
child with a lovely life, but it is this cavalier attitude about children
brought into single parent homes not because of an accident or some
misfortune, or even the demise of a marriage during a pregnancy, but
deliberately. This discounts the importance of two-parent homes, a mother
and a father, raising a child or children as a complete family.
There seems to be a trend of wealthy, single people who want a child more as
an acquisition than for more traditional reasons. The Brady situation seems
to fit that bill, as both parties appear delighted, and the qualification
for "good father" is reduced to the timely deposition of a fat child support
check. The argument has been made that it is none of our business what Tom
Brady does or doesn't do, but the unavoidable fact remains that because of
who he is, the end result for me is a kitchen table summit meeting with my
two boys, and so, that seems to make it my business, at least in a
peripheral way. There is no argument against the statistics which clearly
demonstrate that traditional family structures yield a higher percentage of
emotionally healthy children. So the notion of a child being part of the
"must-have" list for the elite, alongside the 500 series Mercedes and the
manse, is unsettling for me.
One thing for sure is that the world will not end because of Tom Brady or
Brittney Spears, but these things do have some kind of cumulative social
effect. The idea of family that to so many of us conjures up images of a
mother, a father and a couple of kids, is rapidly evanescing before our
eyes. There is no nostrum to stop it, or even slow it, for that matter, but
one can't help wonder on occasion, where it will all lead. In a few
generations will the traditional family structure be a thing of the past, or
some kind of alternative lifestyle held to certain geographic locations, as
with the Amish? If so, what does that mean for us as a culture? It may seem
crazy to you, to ponder these things, but as I find myself more and more
often called to emergency "family summits" at the kitchen table, I wonder
how much more explaining I can do. Our table is beginning to look like a
U.N. meeting, with nameplates, microphones and pitchers of water. "Who is
Anna Nicole, dad? Why did Brittney shave her head, dad? Why is Tom Brady
happy his ex-girlfriend is pregnant, dad?" Please, someone, kick me into the
End Zone.