HELL'S GONNA BREAK LOOSE
This is the ominous warning from
recently convicted tax evader Ed Brown of Plainfield, New Hampshire. It has
been plastered in local newspapers how the retired exterminator has bunkered
himself in at his fortress-like Plainfield home. I say home, but it is more
like a castle, built with concrete walls and a watchtower with a 360 degree
view of the stunning property. Built almost as though someone had
anticipated some kind of battle. Brown, and his wife Elaine, a dentist, were
found guilty on Thursday of conspiring to hide income, mostly from her
dental practice which yielded her 1.9 million between 1996 and 2003.
Clearly, these people were not wanting for the luxuries in life, which leads
one to wonder even further, why take the chance?
We all love to hate the Internal Revenue Service and taxes and I am no
exception. As a small business owner who endured an audit of three business
years with an expensive outcome, there is no love lost between me and the
Department of Treasury. I am not one however, to evade my taxes, as painful
and inequitable as they are. My situation was the result of a change in
accountants and a depreciation schedule mistake. Moreover, it is the way the
government spends our money, and the amount of it that they take, that sends
some people over the edge. Even this, however, is not the case with Ed
Brown. Ed Brown is just one of these nuts that interprets the tax code in
the same way that, say, a monkey might do. So now, he is holed up in his
fortress, the construction of which was subsidized by the rest of us, by the
way, with a small cadre of armed, militia type, backwater fruitcakes. Not
surprisingly, over the last few decades, he has been a member of a handful
of anti-government militia groups. The Constitution Rangers, The
Constitution Defense Militia, and The Unamerican Activities Investigations
Commission, founded by Brown himself.
In a radio interview with WNTK-FM in New London, New Hampshire he exclaimed
"the verdict is in. I can guarantee you all Hell is gonna break loose." Of
course, this is what he is hoping for but US Marshals have said they have no
plans of storming the 110 acre property or escalating the situation. What
irritates me about people like this if their approach to effecting a change.
Brown's scheme was almost childlike in it's simplicity, acquiring well over
two hundred thousand dollars worth of postal money orders, always for around
$2,800.00, just below the reportable limit of $3,000.00. This might fly at
the Manhattan post office but c'mon, at the same little post office, day
after day? This guy must have been Ocean's twelfth, the one who never got
picked up for the team and held them at Ocean's Eleven. The same guy who
invented the "hide your cash under the mattress" scheme. Quite plainly, it
is so stupid a plan, that it transcends satire.
What remains to be seen is what kind of a mess ensues trying to bring this
guy in, or if they even bother bringing him in, an event that would raise
the obvious question to millions..."Why should I pay my taxes?" This retired
exterminator must have been inhaling a little too much DDT over the last few
decades and it will be a true shame if anyone is hurt or killed trying to
bring this guy in. If I was in charge I would strafe his house with F-18's
and then see if he reconsiders. Remember, this isn't a guy who is unable to
heat his home or struggling with the mortgage payment, this is just a greedy
prick. While humps like me scrape and work overtime to make ends meet, and
in my case, meet a monthly payment on one of the IRS' famous payment plans
that crucify you with penalties and interest, this pathetic loon, draped in
the Flag and the Constitution, trys to make a bold statement with the threat
of violence.
And, it is the violence that sets this guy apart. News accounts tell of his
little army of friends who look as though they just came of the set of
"Deliverance", implying but not admitting that they are armed, and waiting,
if not just plain looking, for trouble. Is the current rate of taxation
unfair? In my opinion, yes, it is robbery. Is the money spent as though the
government checkbook is being overseen by a meth addict? Yeah, no doubt
about it. Is this kind of grandstanding ever going to effect any change? Not
at all, in fact it damages the cause for the rest of us who want some kind
of real, measured tax reform. So, I will be waiting patiently for the sound
of low flying Blackhawks and fighter aircraft. Give this guy a run for his
money.